1.6 – The story of how inanimate objects survive

Barney: …I thought Brittney was the one neglected at birth. WHY AM I ALONE? D:

AHEM

Continuing this thing now.

Okay, so in the last post I realized I said something along the lines of ‘them kids’ clothes will be their fav color’

And ahem, this little monster’s fav color is BROWN not BLUE, so I fixed that anomaly.

Boo: Yeah you said that right, ANOMALY.

You are not a nice IF.

Brittney: Ohhhh the sink is broken.

Sink: I’m…I’m BROKEN *breaks out in sobs*

Fridge: BAD CHILD. You don’t mention Sink’s…condition.

IM GETTING TO IT.

Brandon: I’m back.

Brandon!

Brandon: OH. WOW HOW SURPRISING. The sink’s still broken.

>.>

Bree: BOO WHERE YOU GO??

Boo: This is why I never want to be a real boy.

Brandon: *dropped Bibi*

Bibi: OMG IM A REAL GIRL NOW!

Technically you’re still an IF.

Bibi: Look at this face. Is this a face that says I want to be depressed?

Um

Bibi: NO. IT ISN’T. I WISH TO BE HAPPY NOW THAT I AM MY MASTER’S SIZE.

MasterInQuestion: Imma just take this cake and shove it down my sister’s throat kay? Kay.

Fridge: LIKE WHATEVER. Continue to pillage my insides.

Was that sarcasm?

Sink: Uggghhh there’s nothing left to live for…

Just when I was wondering where Bunny’d run off to.

Bunny: HEY. Sink’s still broken.

Sink: WHY MUST YOU REMIND ME!?

Brandon: Stop crying Bree I’m coming!

Someone hide the kid away from Brandon. NAO.

Brandon: The toilet is still dirty.

And the bathroom sink as well it would seem.

B-Sink: We be mates in our dirtiness yo.

Toilet: NO WAY MAN. NO WAY.

Barney: I played the xylophone over and over and over again but no will luv me!

Poor kiddo. Too bad he didn’t have an IF then we wouldn’t have this problem!

Mailbox: WATCHA LOOKING AT. I don’t control mail service. AND OH HO WHAT’S THIS. My insides are full! I might be filled with the IFs you’re thinking about!

…I have considered this possibility.

Barney finally received the attention he was craving…even if Bunny’s two seconds from passing out.

Barney: Heehee I’m so happy I made a surprise for daddy!

Bunny: Something smells…

I’ll leave you to it. *runs off*

Brandon: Wow that is clever!

Bibi: I know right?

Brandon: By putting this friend + sign over my head it covers my I’m-about-to-pass-out bubble!

T_T

Brandon: Hey dad! We’re both in the red! We have something in common apart from our appearance!

Bunny: Appearance? I don’t see your bunny ears, but continue on.

I don’t see yours either.

Bunny: They’re in stealth mode so sshhhh

Brandon: ANYWAY. This calls for celebration a.k.a bedtime story!

O_O I clicked on Brandon to see where Bibi was at and WELL Bibi was right there. Freaked me out.

Boo: Stalker.

Bibi: Amateur.

Boo: Obsessed.

Bibi: Ungrateful.

Stop it. Plz. No IF wars.

Bibi: *has minor panic attack* OMG WHERE DID MASTER GO?

…He went to bed yo…to wait for his daddy’s bedtime story.

Bunny: I’m getting there.

Bunny: Super convenient! I still have that book from last time!

Brandon: Haha awesome. Now let’s put down some ground rules. Number 1, no smoking while reading.

That’s a good one. *thumbs up*

…Bunny cancelled Brandon’s interaction on his own to go tickle Bree.

Bree: Daddy luvs me!

Brandon: I grew up yet…HE STILL LOVES HER MORE.

Wow Bunny. Wow.

Brandon: OMERGAWD. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if dad drowned in that puddle?

NO IT WOULD NOT BE.

-5

Sink: How do you like it now? HUH? HUH?

Darn you Bunny. Don’t you even know how to use a bed??

*puddle suddenly expands*

Brandon: AAAHHH DAD’S BLEEDING OUT!

Um no. Still the sink.

Sink: I’m only alive thanks to all them generous donors out there. Thank you wells, thank you oceans, thank you springs.

So tell me, are there some IFs in there? I’m scared to look.

Mailbox: STARE INTO THE DEPTS OF MY GUTS.

Amestia: You woke me up for this?

Amestia: Bad news. There’s definitely something in there.

Bibi: Master!? I’m sorry I hit you too hard with the pillow!

Brandon: Urgh *knocked out cold*

-5

Amestia: Shall I retrieve the mailbox’s innards?

Um yeah, but I’m tossing them out right after.

Oh wow never mind. Not even IFs, Amestia got a letter from one of the sims I dropped in town. A love letter mind you. XD

Dang means the twins really never did get any IFs.

OH geez guys! Look at this miracle!

I think it’s the first time Brandon’s actually successfully gone to sleep. I should get points for this.

Amestia: Hi Sink, an anonymous object gave us a donation to try out your surgery again. *got food from stove*

Sink: OHMYGOD REALLY? *cries*

Fridge: It was me btw bro.

Stove: whut nonsense you sayin now? You spotless vertical couch?

Fridge: Did you just call me a vertical couch!?

Cool it guys.

Amestia: The surgery…was successful.

Sink: OH FUCEOIHA-

Fridge: Geez! Calm down! That’s how you broke in the first place!

Sink: Omg right I’m sorry. Thnks.

Wow things are getting better and better.

So much better we can get back to painting! She’s still at level 5, she just needs to get to level 7 for the portrait!

Gnome: Omg…I thought yall had forgotten me! 😀

Stove: What…what is this?

Sink: I heard you were the one who donated bro, so this is my favor to you. I got you a massage.

Amestia: Umm….why do I feel like a side character?

This isn’t about the sims anymore. New title: The story of how inanimate objects survive

Brittney: I does a dance for food yes? *tap dances*

Mhm *claps* I say give her the food.

 

Toilet: I never told you guys this, but…*dramatic silence* I’ve actually been broken inside for a while now.

B-Sink: Bro. It’s okay. We’re here for you.

Potty: Hell yeah! I share the stink.

Amestia: Like whut am I even doing here? What is the point of me here?

Not peeing yourself?

Bree: Oh hai, finally my turn? Cool, I’d like to order some veggie chili plz.

Boo: I’ll just take some rope.

…>.>

BARNEY. THE HELL?

Barney: I was lonely and I foundz Bibi.

Bibi: The school would not allow me to follow master.

But…But…outside?

Bunny: I GOT YOU. I’ll protect you.

Wow. He looks like some sort of gangster now. Clothes, gun, cigarette. He’s ready for anything now.

Barney: My daddy is da best!

Barney: Oh…are we singing now?

Brittney: NO. I NEED A DIAPER CHANGE.

Everyone needs a diaper change.

Bree’s bday is tomorrow…

Amestia: I’ll pay you five simeleons to learn to talk right now!

Bree: You serious? I knew how to speak from the moment the sparkles gave birth to me.

Amestia: No honey. I read a bookshelf about it. The sparkles can’t give birth.

Bree: …

Bree: So we were talking cash yesh?

*facepalm*

Like where’s Brandon yo? School finished a while ago.

…

Brandon: I told ya I wasn’t coming back!

But you came back last time!

Brandon: Cause you forced me!

Shhh he’s lying.

Brandon: Like hell I am. My butts frozen to the swing anyways.

Not as frozen as it should’ve been.

-5

Brittney: Look what I found!

Bibi sure has no shortage of love. And for heaven’s sake it’s winter outside!

Brittney: The cold distracts me from my full diaper.

Oh…carry on then.

Geez forgot he was a witch again.

And lol those training wheels are adorable XD

Bibi: I’m sorry but Master is home now. I can’t play with u no more.

Brittney: I DON’T CARE. I NEED A DIAPER CHANGE!

GEEZ BOY. You just got home!

-5

Brandon: I wanted…to test out…the clean floor…

Bibi: *just watched Brandon take a shower* MASTER wait for me!!!

Shower: Guys…I feel dirty right now.

B-Sink: Dude like no.

Potty: Yo talking to us? YO ACTUALLY TALKIN TO US?

Toiler: Hmph we don’t want to hear about your high and mighty needs.

Shower: *rejected* D:

Ooh harsh.

-5

T_T

Bibi: Don’t look at me! I’m not guilty!

You pillow fighted him again didn’t you?

Bibi: Maybe…Master has a soft head. He is easily knocked out.

FINALLY. Bree’s bday!

And these two just couldn’t wait and took some premature cake.

Brandon: Beds are like so over rated.

Bunny: I know there’s just something about floors…

Barney: I’m hungry for looovvveee!!!

Brandon: Watch out! I might pass out again!

Brittney: This is booorrriiing. *ditches party*

Fridge: Hold it in bro. Can’t have another relapse now.

Sink: IVE GOT THIS. *breathing in and out*

Barney: IM SO TIRED. I WANNA SLEEP. *making cute face*

Hon…you’re in a bed. I think it goes without saying.

Ahem I got distracted.

I think we’ve got a severe case of derps here.

PopUp: BAD PARENT. YOU DON’T GET TO CHOOSE A TRAIT.

D:

Bree: I like warmth. I am now unhappy cause we’re in winter.

…*opens cas*

So here she is. The excitable couch potato who likes it better when its sunny!

 

I’m just gonna like halt it here. *brakes screech*

 

Self-wetting: 0 x -5 = 0

Failing school : 0 x -5 = 0

NPC visit: 1 x -5 = -5

Passing Out: 9 x -5 = -45

Accidental Deaths: 0 x -10 = 0

Social Worker Visit: 0 x -15 = 0

Birth: 2 x +5 = +10

Twin Birth: 1 x +10 = +10

Triplet Birth: 0 x +15 = 0

Quad Birth: 0 x +20 = 0

Fulfilling LTW: 0 x +40 = 0

Honour roll: 0 x +5 = 0

Randomizing every LTW choice and trait (apart from the obligational insane trait) for a whole generation of children: 0 x +10 = 0

Portrait of the torch holders somewhere in the house: 0 x +5 = 0

Having a spouse reach the top of their career: 0 x +10 = 0

Every 100,000$: 0 x +20 = 0

TOTAL: -30

D :