IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME
I FORGOT EVERYTHING
So how about uh you fill me in. All I remember is Angelica being freaky as fuck.
Oh well that’s nice.
Wait YOU’RE PREGNANT?
Diana: *mumbles something insulting*
Ah yeessss, I remember you had a monkey face Erika.
It seems times haven’t changed.
Ok no joking aside-
Nope still no difference.
Erika: SAFETY is an illusion
Esme was the prettiest of the twins.
YES THIS IS WHY DIANA IS PREGNANT.
Diana: Finally you’re back with the program.
It takes me a while you know, when months are spent in between updates. BUT THIS TIME. I HAVE GOTTEN MYSELF A COMPUTER UPGRADE.
Well to see if this upgrade actually makes a difference or not. With the sims game, it probably won’t because it’s coded to be fucked – or NO WAIT, sometimes the game actually agrees with me. It’s this SPECIFIC SAVE that is coded to be fucked.
I got eye mods for the cats. Look at those eyeballs.
Hello yes, Emma, explain to me why Enzo is at school and not you.
Emma: Because it was my BIRTHDAY today
…oh right right, I ASK PATIENCE THANKS
RUN EMMA RUN, SAVE MY POINTS
Also Diana pick your monkey off the floor.
Diana: Don’t insult my children.
Rufus: ITS OKAY ESME BABY I GOT U
Yeah Lilipad is malfunctioning OFF TO RECHARGE YOU GO
Rufus: Ah fatherhood
Esme: Only eyes for meh daddy
The monkey twins creep me out
Like at this point I prefer Dandruff because she doesn’t cry in her dirty diaper
Dandruff: ERK stop trying to give me compliments it makes me sick.
Who at this point doesn’t know how to use a door to come INSIDE
Dandruff: That’s a little better
Rufus: I like this computer upgrade of yours. Gives me enough free will to be the daddy I always knew I could be.
And I forgot how pretty your eyes are
ENZO WELCOME BACK HOME
Enzo: Shhhh don’t make too much noise you’ll alert HER.
HER: chillldd, where did you go?
Emma: LISTEN WELL MY AUDIENCE
Lucifer: This should be interesting
Angelica: I didn’t have time to be young, why did I grow so old
I’m so ecstatic I forgot I had the Children Can mod
AND SHE HAS THE VIRTUOSO TRAIT SO
Emma: *plays sad dramatic music as Enzo dies*
Lucifer: I knew this would be worth it
So that forced me to look at my points again. I’ve forgotten how I even gain points.
No Enzo, you’re supposed to yell at the toddler for waking you up.
Enzo: but it’s a toddler
LEMME TELL YOU ABOUT THE SHITS sims give about toddlers
Enzo: OK BUT WHAT IF IT BITES
That does make sense
OH LOL LOL LOL
What is this now
Someone wants to take Dandruff out well then Mr.Andrew imma say yes
Bumblebee: Ok Dandy whatever, I’ve come to threaten to blackmail you for fun – what r u doing
Dandruff: Sorry pee spot I have a date
Bumblebee: NO BUT I HAVE AN INTERACTION IN QUEUE. HOW DARE YOU.
Oh shit Diana I was doing something what are you doing
Diana: This is me hating on you
Do you feel neglected? It’s only cause I know you have it in for me.
Jeez woman this is taking forever, I have places to BE.
Like right here.
Who dis boy.
Dis Andrew has ODDLY GREEN SKIN.
OH yas that’s why. Somebody is an Idanezy.
Dandruff: At this point EVERYONE is.
To prove to you that this is incest I pulled up the family tree. SEE I FOUND HIM. Calliope’s grandson, also lmao Mortimer’s son?? Who was ironically a potential spouse for Diana. So there ya go Dandruff he’s like your cousin. Sort of.
Andrew: whew sorry about that OH HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP
Dandruff: I’m very unattracted
Dandruff: So yeah you know before we take this palpitating relationship any further I have a son
Andrew: A what
Dandruff: And also a wife who would beat you up. A heads up.
It’s okay my boy at this point
Andrew: SO I THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR FIVE SECONDS AND I’M WILLING TO SEE THIS THROUGH
Dandruff: why am I included in this heartfart
SO I see nothing has changed here
Diana: Your computer upgrade isn’t worth shit
WHY DO YOU INSULT ME SO
And did I just hear a monkey sound
Erika: Wasn’t meh 😉
I SWEAR GUYS I DID
Lilipad: I find your behavior towards my daughters inacceptable
Enzo why are you not sleeping
Enzo: but the cat has been meowing ALL NIGHT
Azazel: I take pride in my work
Bumblebee: I FOUND YOU FINALLY
Enzo: oh crap
Azazel: I also stink. A lot.
Enzo: *uses passing out to cancel BBee’s action*
Bumblebee: DARN HONEY TRAP I SWEAR. PEOPLE GETTING OUT OF INTERACTIONS IS MAKING ME LONELY.
Bumblebee: SEE IM NOT KIDDING. WHY CAN’T THEY LET ME BE AN ASSHOLE. A LEAST FOR A MOMENT.
Diana: You’re not even worthy of a response
You beautiful thing you, Enzo and you are the only worthy children.
Emma: Please I’M trying to do something here.
Bumblebee: MY—DA—Y—–IS NOT —–GOING WELL
This is mildly amusing
As long as this ends with you going to bed
I’m okay with it.
Enzo: PLEASE I DON’T WANT TO PASS OUT AGAIN
Have pity on my Enzo monkey
Diana: Alright fine, I’ll tune you up, but know that the game canceled this interaction three times so you better appreciate this.
I don’t know what my game has against sim-robot interactions
Bumblebee: EXCUSE ME? I am not some BIMBO you can just TUNE UP to bribe my friendship. My friendship requires that I TROLL you first and that requirement hasn’t been met so NO, I refuse this TUNE UP
Lilipad: (somewhere takes offense as she takes care of the children)
Diana: Well I got no qualms over this. And my unborn baby is saying I should annihilate you where you stand.
Bumblebee: I don’t think that’s your foetus talking
Diana: Well that’s true I am the Empress of Evil.
Bumblebee: > 😦 WHAT NEVER SEEN A SMOKING ROBOT BEFORE? I swear everybody judges me around here
Brittney: Modern furniture sur is talkative
Enzo: Hi Bumble, did you know it was my birthday today? Hope you got me present
Bumbleebee: Oh no that means it’s my last chance to successfully troll him! Oh I’ll come up with a present alright, yes indeed……hehehe
You know I don’t see that happening since you’re stuck in a never ending malfunctioning glitch and you REFUSE to accept help.
Emma: What!? Go see the toilet and RECONSIDER your reaction
Lilipad: Dear you see over there? That’s pre-birthday jitters right there
More like BAD FREE WILL
OK QUICK BIRTHDAY BEFORE THE KIDS GO TO SCHOOL
Oh hay Catarina, here to see your grandchild’s birthday?
Bumblebee: YOU’RE A HORRIBLE BIRTHDAY PLANNER. I didn’t get to plan ANYTHING.
Plus like half the family isn’t here but time went way faster than I expected and I wanted to give this boy a day off
Enzo: Aw thanks
Lilipad: NO I’M MISSING THE PARTY
Rufus: Lol I don’t know where I’m going anymore
Enzo: nobody told me growing up KILLED YOUR BLADDER
Emma: Somebody take a pic quick! This is a face he’ll want to remember
Right right let me get a close up
THERE WE GO
Enzo: I hate you two
What a supportive family
Rufus still booing his children
I might tear up
Not like the MONKEYS could even bother to show up
I can’t even LOOK at them
Emma please, you need to calm down on the PARTYING it’s hazardous to your health…and my points.
Aw babe lmao I’m sorry
You KNOW I can’t resist guys
These pictures are gold
And I think Enzo does noodle best so far
Shiiit guys you should see this, this boy is gorgeous!
Wait I can just share a picture…
THERE HE IS
Look at this Lilac boy
You’re giving me Desmond vibes
You know your uncle whom I adore?
Except you’re a slob and now unflirty
Look at this hunk. Got his dad’s body sliders.
His traits do him no good, but he might just be able to make it on LOOKS alone 😉
Diana: How can I feed this child when it’s in the way!??
I—uh, well I mean it’s your LOGIC
You know I can’t differentiate between the twins on my own yet. Doesn’t help that I don’t play this save for months on end.
But I remember saying Esme was the most tolerable of the two.
Still looks like a monkey to me.
Birthday boy strikes!
And fails so miserably he clips through the floor
Maybe I should’ve sent you to school afterall
EMMA not you tooo
Rufus: (wailing outside) I GOT DEMOTED
Well serves you right for not using your free will like a non conventional sim!
You seem to be having fun
How is our mother to be?
Diana: She’s having fun
I figured as much
Hoo lala! Guys! Guys!
DANDRUFF is about to move OUT
I think her age got reset for some reason! Cause she’s down to one day HOOYEAH FINALLY
Dandruff: God calm down will you, I already have a bad enough headache as it is
A few real life weeks later…
(opens my game)
Oh but WHAT IS THIS
A lonely GLITCH
Not to worry she’s a toad
And about to hit the road
Pretty SURE free will doesn’t work
In this save anymore
If I can’t see him it doesn’t count right? RIGHT?
At least he TRIES you know
More than I can say about MOST
Giving me the need to FAST FORWARD HERE FOLKS
Look at dat chin though
OH OH LOOK AT THAT
Maybe Free Will just needed some WARMING UP
Yes let’s amp that HOPE meter up a bit
OH MY WHAT’S GOING ON HERE
Bumblebee: AHHAHAHAHA TAKE THAT FINALLY YOUR BLUE ASS IS DOWN
Enzo: SCREW THIS I HATE BEING A TEEN
Enzo: NOW GET OUT I NEED TO PEE
Bumblebee: You mean cry over your defeat
Bumblebee: I love winning
Dandruff: GOD I HATE NOISE. AND THIS HOUSE. AND MY LACK OF RENDER
It’s okay doll I got you
WITH A GET OUT OF MY HOUSE CAKE
Dandruff: We literally just hit the midnight mark
If you cause a fire I will fuck you up I swear
Dandruff: WOULDN’T THAT be something
EMMA WHY ARE YOU SCREWING with this happy moment
Perfect ur ugly, you got the hate outdoors trait, out YOU GO
Dandruff: Oh NO YOU DON’T. You owe me a decent makeover
*grumbles but opens CAS anyways*
Isn’t she JUST GORGEOUS
SO there you go!
Dandruff cleaned up her act and went in town to give me a GOOD GENETIC pool
Dandruff: haha you wish, I’m going to go out there and LIVE
You’re pretty, leave before I change my mind
Dandruff: As if that would change ANYTHING about this really
DON’T TEMPT ME
I could have you stay in the torture shed
You’d pay in SCREAMS OF ANGUISH
Bumblebee: I’m going to miss the only other passive aggressive person in this house
OOF this hurts
Out the window
But hey satisfaction of checking that KICK OUT box
Isn’t this like your purple haired
Dandruff pulled out some MYSTERY super powers and teleported here
SO I think
This is where she lives now
I aint gonna wait around to see if she renders
Rufus: HAHAHA son did you get beat up by the robot again
Enzo: ZZZZZZZONE TIME ZZZZZZZZ
Diana: IM REAL TIRED OF PREGNANT. ALL I DO IS SLEEP.
I feel you hon
Diana: THIS IS MY LAST BABY
Yes I agree lol
Get the romance on
Man you monkeys are boring
DID YOU GIVE BIRTH ALREADY
Diana: (gives me the stink eye)
Sorry can’t see it amongst all this unrenderedness
While I wait for a baby birth to end this chapter
Let me just
Sweet lady ITS ONLY BEEN a few hours
But hey if you’re going to start baby making now that’s cool
Can’t wait for your fiancé to get a face
Goddamn lady you’ve been pregnant for MONTHS
Diana: Don’t PROJECT your absence from this save on me
Lol she just wanted baby money from old dannybrow here
Sorry hon he’s BROKE
Oh hey what’s this
Diana: ME SCREAMING WASN’T ENOUGH?
Diana: WHERE’S RUFUS
Off to get himself
A quickie cleanse?
Angelica: heyyyyyyyyy im cute right
Alright you know what if school is where it’s at
You stay there
WHAT SHALL THE BABY BE
I aint gonna cliffhanger this *snort*
The first Normal skinned but
The last child
Diana: Excuse me
So guys this is EGBERT
He’s easily impressed and a light sleeper, and his fav color is white
Diana: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ISN’T THE LAST
Im sorry but like both you AND rufus have that wish for a baby girl and I need to MAKE THAT A REALITY. It’s in the rules
I feel you
Also I think Egbert is a vampire????
But he must be glitched cause it AINT showing up
WELL HERE GOES PEEPS
Oh right yes
RIGHT SO THE END
SEE YOU NEXT TIME
Self-wetting: 82 x -5 = -415
Failing school : 7 x -5 = -35
NPC visit: 4 x -5 = -20
Passing Out: 259 x -5 = -1290
Accidental Deaths: 5 x -10 = -5
Social Worker Visit: 0 x -15 = 0
Birth: 10 x +5 = +50
Twin Birth: 4 x +10 = +40
Triplet Birth: 0 x +15 = 0
Quad Birth: 1 x +20 = +20
Fulfilling LTW: 3 x +40 = +120
5-star celebrity: 0 x +5 = 0
Honour roll: 0 x +5 = 0
Randomizing every LTW choice and trait (apart from the obligational insane trait) for a whole generation of children: 3 x +10 = +30
Portrait of the torch holders somewhere in the house: 4 x +5 = +20
Having the Torch Holder reach the top of a career: 1 x +10 = +10
Having a spouse reach the top of their career: 0 x +20 = 0
Every 100,000$: 3 x +20 = +60
P.S. I’m about to upload Dandruff if ANYBODY wants her